Well after reading the thunder and the sunshine [on the blog of a guy named Ciaran Healy founder of ruthlesstruth.com] and the truth of no I really had hit home this concept: "how can there be something  as an I truly being me if it wasn't immediately there at birth, nor in the weeks or months after?" came up.

This kept spinning around in my head for a while but then it faded leaving an inexpressable serenity, not for someone, just serenity, whether there were more thoughts or non at all, a lot of noise or total stillness, or any emotion it made no difference.

And up untill right now, although everything is happening in exactly the same way, it is not happening to anyone seperate but as a part of the whole of existence.

All these years of searching for "what I really am" suddenly felt so totally unnececarry, and it was. But why oh why is it that a bunch of guys on the internet who have figured it out on their own (don't believe that? Take a serious look for yourself here http://ruthlesstruthdotcom.blogspot.com/2010/10/thunder-and-sunshine.html ) got done what all these so called gurus could not? Well might this have to do something with their total focus on the absence of an I?

I mean there are only one or two gurus that do mention this but most of the time all kinds of eastern terminology is used in front of a western audience. Why the mysteriousness around this?

Well maybe just maybe (and I know some readers do not like what I am about to suggest) maybe guru's need their followers following them? I mean one or two who find what they have found great, that will be a nice example for the rest of them to keep coming but if most of them would then the guru would lose his importance very fast.

What I am trying to say is why are there so little so called guru's that are direct enough to show exacly what they found and how they found that?

And yes I know it is not an object but the subject and cannot be given on a silver platter, but hey this ain't rocket science either, they must be able to guide them through it if those blokes from ruthless truth can right? Anyway be your own judge but my advice is to take a very close look into the fact that this No Self thing just might really be true...