Where do thoughts come from when they have arisen?… 

Where do they reside when they have come?… 

Where have they gone when they have disappeared?… 

In the same way when appearances have come where have they  come from?… 

Where do they stay?… Where do they go?… 

What about you? Where do you come from when you have arisen in the morning?…

Where do you reside when you have come?…

Where do you go to when sleep takes over?…

Where have you appeared from when you were born?…

Where do you reside when your alive?…

Where will you go when your dead?…

Where does consciousness come from when it appears?…

Where does consciousness stay when it has appeared?…

Where does consciousness disappear to when it goes away?…

To take this even further where did the whole universe, visible and invisible, come from right after the big bang?…

Where does it reside in after the big bang?…

Where will it disappear to at the end of the kalpa or big crunch?…

Have you found the thoughts? The you? Where they reside in?… Psst you can't. 

Do you or thoughts actually exist in the first place?… If they couldn't be found…

Does anything?… What is real should last forever, does anything? Ultimately? The question real or unreal becomes redundant… It is real in the eye of the beholder, if the beholder itself is not found… Then there is nothing more to say… 

Look in this wy…

Thinking that is the thing to look into, look at thinking itself, are you doing it? 

Really focus your attention on this, when a stream of thought has started (did you do that?) does thought build up an actual I or a self in any way or does it just make it seem that way? 

Not where it comes from, not stopping them or even having only peaceful thought or something, that is all unrelated to seeing no self, just simple, do thoughts represent a self?

Do all of the thoughts you ever had now represent a self? If it does where is it now?

Look at this because nothing, not anything anyone has ever written itself can ever make one see this without actually looking. Is it an untested assumption that a self is really there? Or is there really a self there separating you from the whole of life? 

Same with observing, is there an observer? Are you doing this observing or is just that, the observation, without an observer doing the observing? 

A way to test this is just closing the eyes not doing anything else and a noticing that observing just goes on, nobody doing it, just seeing of blackness, no you seeing the blackness. 

Then with open eyes see everything appearing, nothing fancy. So everything is seen, is a separate you in it? Has there ever been an actual separate self having your experience or was there just experiencing, no experiencer there at all in reality?

Isn't it always like this: First experience and only then thoughts about it saying it is good or bad and everything in between? Seeing, hearing, touching, tasting and smelling, thoughts about it which could be followed by emotion, nothing more?

Notice can you see the emotions anger or fear directly? Is anything there behind it having it? Anyone there having it?

Look is there a seer, hearer, toucher, taster, smeller, someone having emotion or just emotion coming up, staying for thee uninvited then subsiding again?

Does sensing happen because you are doing it or does it just happen by itself? Can you turn it on or off in general like a light switch? When falling asleep it is just suddenly gone, but do you really decide the exact moment? Like your not actually falling asleep you literally disappear, actually also not really like that cause there is no one to disappear in the first place, see?

Everything is there, seeming others, houses, nature, world, stars, galaxies, universe, just no you anywhere, is it true? Is a self needed for anything in nature, animals, atoms? Why would you be any different?

No method, not even no method used as a method by an assumed separate individual can bring him to what is alone real.

What one really is one already is before anything appeared, would it not be futile to try to become what one already is before anything appeared with that which appeared?

An appeared body cannot sense the infinite, an appeared mind cannot understand or know the infinite which alone always is, no matter what it comes up with.

So do not take anything that is ever said as something you think you are must do something with.

Not any form of meditation or connecting or contemplation will make any difference, you cannot become what you never stopped being. There is just Being, no one to do it.

There is no self here, in the illusion that once appeared and will go, yet you cannot really ever deny that there is existing, it is existence alone, that which never comes or goes which now and again appears as if becoming all this, it is That which has experienced every waking moment, dream moment and the end of experiences of deep sleep, and your body posture right now, the words your currently reading and the thoughts about them, all the senses that perceive or constitute the world are experienced by You, know this thoughtless Knowledge.

Only You exist like only the rope exists when you think you see a snake, only sand and heat are there when you think your seeing water if you happen to be in the dessert seeing a mirage.

One day you fall asleep and your dreaming that you decide to go to the forrest and your walking and walking and the birds are singing and everything is fine. So you keep walking on without thinking where you are going so after a while you look around and think "where am I?", and you get a little anxious… And then you suddenly spot a big scary wolf in the distance coming towards you… So you start pannicking and run away deeper and deeper into the forrest. But after running as long and hard as you could you realize the big scary wolf did not follow you at all but now your even more lost, so in dispair you start looking for your way home and you notice its getting dark. So after wandering around feeling totally lost you spot a lake with a little house on the side so you decide to see if you can spend the night there, but turns out the door is open, upon entering you see a kitchen with a catle of soup still on the stove and since your very hungry from all of the running you eat until your satisfied. There is also a fire place and your feeling cold so you light it up and decide to sit on the couch to warm up and because you feel tired you dose and dream about finding a map in the same house on the table...

So this blog is a part of a blog roll on the premise of no-self for the website: www.liberationunleashed.com I have mostly written about non-duality after seeing happened, one of them is now only writing about food and recipes which is also non-duality if you stretch it very far ;-) Anyway so I did see there is no-self in experience at all when I was staring out of my window, which went like: "So there is no-self let me check that out finally and once and for all right now! So seeing, hearing touching tasting smelling is happening right now whether I choose to or not, so how can eyes, ears, skin, nose actually be me in itself, how amazing! I mean if you are some-thing you should actually have control over it right? So on I went, I heard and felt my stomach roaring, so in direct experience, I did not control the whole digestion including chewing, after all when you put food in when it's time to eat chewing just starts and you don't control that exactly (check that out). When the food has turned to waste it eventually has to come out and it will whether you like it or not. Filtering the liquids you take in just happening, when the bladder is too full it will come out in the end whether you like it or not. Are you still with me here? Hairs, fingernails and skin is growing all by itself. Breathing will go on by itself, you don't really decide how the air goes in (deep, shallow, rate) and out and during sleep it just goes on. Thoughts about every experience you have and about others come up spontaneously without consciously doing that, thinking happens... All of that seen to be true in direct experience, do I exist itself behind all that controlling it all? NO, so they are right, totally right, how amazing! And this is true for all those people on their bikes(I live in the (Netherlands) and the drivers of those cars. They have a destination but how they get there is going quite unconsciously and is not really in their hands, it just flows, also they did not decide what they wanted at the time they did, so what is true here is true for others. But only reading this won't do in this process, it only comes alive when tested and seen in your own direct experience of life. So the only goal of this blog post is to get you to at least thoroughly test this out for yourself at a point in life, another advice is to not read another spiritual or life altering text without actually testing it out for yourself in actual experience without prejudice if it is true. Ciaran Healy, the one who was the start of this process through the precursor site of Liberation Unleashed called Ruthless Truth, always said to really test things out, to figuratively put on a pair of glasses of no-self to have an actual honest look how things would be if they indeed were totally true, taking that perspective, looking at it from all angles, seriously looking true those lenses and then taking them of so to speak and then look if it could really be true already but you just never really looked at it that way. Also good if you are arguing with somebody all the time spent a minute in their shoes, imagine maybe they are right or at least you understand them better. Do that for a while with this blog post, really walk around with those goggles and in those shoes of no-self, like a scientist… Is it true?

 Why look for an other?

 A description from the perspective of the Self, the Brahman, the One without a second: “I am there where there are no differences, no love, no hate, no peace nor war, no beauty and no ugliness. Where I am there are no problems and no fear for pain or desire for pleasure. I am without beginning or end, without creation, sustenance or destruction. There is no action or inaction, no will to achieve or lethargy to let everything happen by itself. There is no doer, neither is there free will or fate. I have no cause yet I, the Self, the Brahman am the cause of everything. I am the always non-objective beyond any subject or object, beyond seer, sight and seen, observer or observed, sense, senser and sensed. I have no body yet everything is my body. Everything is appearing to me and in me like a dream and disappears again.

First there was nothing beyond the words nothing and everything and then there was One with the tendency to become many, from it started to appear and disappear the many, but what comes and goes is not really the Real, what is Real can only be something that is Eternal, Unchanging and Undivided which I am. Other terms for my true nature are Being, Consciousness, Bliss.

Then human beings came into being by me becoming identified with a body as my own self, also your body reader. Through identifying as your body and all the bodies I can experience separation and the many, having all kinds of adventures, like being a king or a hero saving beautiful girls from villains. I had all kinds of fantastic dreams and now I am dreaming your exact circumstance (reading this at this very moment) and every problem or victory or lack thereof. If you can see or remember that all the time then that is what is called Self-realization.

By having the true conviction that I am Brahman, One without a second this can come to fruition. This is the only mantra of and beyond all mantras all others are there only to silence the mind and when the mind becomes still then the real mantra practice can begin, first in words then in thoughts and then seeing it's real meaning on the inside of the inside… When this conviction that I am Brahman One without a second becomes automatic drop it and "become" That alone…

You are already That One without a second when your body is born, then automatically the idea or feeling that I am this and you are that comes but never is this the Truth, there is only one Truth and Thou Art That always, birth after birth. The Knowing of this beyond knower and known is the true Happiness and Bliss we are all looking for in oh so many things and experiences outside of Ourselves but that can and will never last or give continuous happiness. As a big example we look for it in (new) relationships but one or both of you are going to get sick and die or you do something wrong and you split up and love mostly turns into hate. When looking at the true center which is the Self it is Self looking at Self, it is the only Self that there is and it cannot be seen by the not-Self so discriminate between the Self and the not-Self, between the Real and the unreal what comes and goes and what is lasting.

It has been said shun everything outside yourself like excretion or poison and go inside to experience Yourself. This has been said to motivate you to experience and know your own Self. Ask yourself who am I? What am I? Why try to know all else without knowing Yourself the one that knows first. There are thoughts but how do you know that they are there? It is known by me the I so you are not the thoughts. You know the pleasures and the pains of the body and the body as a whole so your not the body then who are you? The I who knows, identifies with this and that? This is not as stable as you think, where does it go in deep dreamless sleep? Then appears a dream body and your identified with the dream body, your not even that, look where has this I itself its resting place? Look, right when you and the world appear again after sleep and see a minute ago there was no I? How could that be possible? In sleep what I really am has not ended but this I and the world it sees or is aware of both disappeared totally for you then who am I really all the time? Cause should I not be the same thing all the time? The Self One without a second that did not disappear and so does not appear.

Be still and know… Be still and Know that I am That itself… I am That One without a second and the rest is superimposed upon it like the snake within a rope or a garden hose, the water in a mirage or the thief in a post, totally real to you before you look closer and you become anxious or even terrified but when you look again real close you see the reality and your at peace again.

I am That, I am Brahman, I am alone the One without a second! Within me there is nothing but also everything that came from nothing and what comes from nothing can only be more of the same…But this nothing is total fullness, radiant of all encompassing Eternal Love with Bliss as its consequence… Keep That Eternal flame burning in your Heart beyond time and space, stay aware of this, love this by Being Unconditional and Undivided Love… Be the Love you are looking for on the outside and stay there by Undoing…

I live... I dream... I sleep... I wake... I eat... I drink... I poop and I pee... I cough... I read... I look, listen, I feel and I taste, in short I am aware... I body... I think...

But I also blow as the wind... I shine... I cloud... I drive and I fly and I whistle, I bicycle and I walk... I sport... I grow and I blossom... I die and I am born... I build and I demolish...

I water... I burn... I freeze... I sky... I make... I preserve... I destroy... I...



I am and I am not.... I has never become you... I was there before you... I is the only one that is always already there but before time and space... I am impossible to capture... Not in any word or method whatsoever... I cannot be experienced, all experience appears within me... Everything comes and goes in me the one that never comes or goes...

What comes and goes is like a dream or illusion that appears, so real... so beautiful or terrible as long as it lasts... But real or unreal to whom does the world appear? The whole universe? To me... But who am I?

What is seen as separate from all else, the convulsion of identification with body and mind, that I when sought has never been found. Thoughts about who, what or how I am, a feeling of being a separated I appear objective to me... One is aware of them, where do they come from? where are they now? Keep looking, you are already that which sees them... Wonder who am I? Wonder who is the one wondering... Can this one be found? Does it exist at all?

What you think you are is like seeing a scary man in dim light which turns out to be a scarecrow. Has the man ever really existed? Can the man do anything to recognise his true I? All this time there was only the scarecrow.



Everything is like a refection of your true self, it is like being a mirror, everything can appear in it but the refection shall never know or experience the mirror...


When this becomes clear beyond thoughts this can be paired with bliss, a feeling of happiness, you'll want to keep repeating this, make it permanent, wonderful for a long time but a trap, nothing and I mean absolutely nothing in the appearance can and shall ever become permanent, it appears within you, nice but who are you to whom does it appear? What is the unchanging you that is neverending beyond bliss, beyond being and non-being?

I... before I and you, before everything and nothing, before any idea... Only as That alone one can [as a manner of speaking] say I am That and That is All!...

That pretends it becomes all this, including you, but there is only That having the superimposition that the waking dream is real... Knowing That am I as I is the only end of all misery, all uncertainty...

And then there was an elephant who blew the story away!

The Self hides Itself from Itself by projecting all of this illusion [and then identifying with a separate part of it], this big theatre show of duality, like a house of fun that can turn into a haunted house or a fantastic dream that turns out to be a great nightmare.





This can be directly experienced by ignoring the show or dream including ourself without falling asleep [which actually means falling back into yourSelf]. We need to know what is I or Self or actually what its not... We think we are this body mind organism but are we?
Is this person always there? Does the body or mind always stay the same? Who am I that can ignore the world and its false identity and fall away in sleep?

Sitting straight with eyes closed sort of like falling asleep but the instant you feel your dosing of open the eyes and again leave everything to be exactly like it is; the outside world and its noises and attractions, the inside world and its distracting thoughts. When noticing you are getting totally distracted by thoughts then and there look if you can still find those thoughts, did you actually look? Great, could you find any still? Then wonder ''thoughts are gone but I the one that noticed them is still here, then who am I? Look for the one that notices thoughts, dont think about this, look... When the eyes close and right before falling asleep do it all again.

This I or Self that notices is like a fire which is there but cannot be seen by the smoke or the salt in a glass of water that cannot be seen after a while but is surely there or like the stars during the daytime. But the Self cannot be known objectively at all, not trough any action or practise done by the person cause if it could it should be traceable itself. The perfume of bliss or uncaused happiness is your compas. But be careful, the bliss cannot last, only you who knows of it and itself never comes or goes, the unknown knower of all really lasts. The one that already was before this grand universal illusion started...

Ik leef... Ik droom... Ik slaap ... Ik ontwaak... Ik eet... Ik drink... Ik poep en ik pies... Ik hoest... Ik lees... Ik kijk, luister, ik voel en ik proef kortom ik neem waar... Ik lichaam... Ik denk...

Maar ik waai ook... Ik schijn... Ik wolk... Ik rijd en ik vlieg en ik fluit, ik fiets en ik loop... Ik sport... Ik groei en ik bloei... Ik sterf en ik wordt geboren... Ik bouw en ik breek weer af...

Ik water... Ik brand... Ik vries... Ik lucht... Ik maak... Ik houd in stand... Ik vernietig... Ik...



Ik ben en ik ben niet.... Ik is niet jou geworden... Ik was er al voor jou... Ik is als enige altijd nu maar voor tijd en ruimte... Ik ben niet te vangen... Niet in welk woord of methode dan ook... Ik kan niet ervaren worden alle ervaring verschijnt in mij... Alles komt en gaat in mij die nooit kwam of zal gaan...

Wat komt en gaat is als een verschenen droom of illusie, zo echt... Zo mooi of verschrikkelijk zolang het duurt... Maar echt of niet echt aan wie verschijnt de wereld? Het hele universum? Aan mij... Maar wie is ik?

Wat wordt gezien als ik afgescheiden van de rest, de verkramping van identificatie met lichaam en geest, dat ik wanneer gezocht is nooit gevonden... Gedachten over wie, wat of hoe ik ben, een gevoel een afgescheiden ik te zijn verschijnen objectief aan mij... Je bent je bewust ervan, waar komen ze vandaan? Waar zijn ze dan nu? Blijf kijken, je bent al dat wat ze ziet... Vraag je af wie ben ik? Vraag je af wie zich dat afvraagt...

Wat je denkt te zijn is als je in schemerlicht een enge man denkt te zien die na beter te kijken een vogelverschrikker blijkt te zijn. Heeft de man ooit echt bestaan? Kan de man iets doen om zijn ware ik te herkennen? Al die tijd was er alleen de vogelverschrikker.



Alles is als een reflectie van je ware zelf, het is als ware je een spiegel, alles kan erin verschijnen maar de reflectie zal nooit de spiegel kennen of ervaren...


Wanneer dit voorbij gedachten duidelijk wordt kan dit gepaard gaan met bliss, een gelukzalig gevoel, dit zal je willen blijven herhalen, permanent maken, prachtig voor een lange tijd maar een val, niets maar dan ook niets in de verschijning kan en zal ooit permanent worden, het verschijnt in jou, mooi maar aan wie verschijnt het, wat is het onveranderlijke nooit stoppende jou voorbij aan bliss, aan zijn en niet zijn?

Ik... voor ik en jij, voor alles en niets, voor elk idee... Pas als Dat alleen kun je zeggen ik ben Dat en Dat is Alles!...

Dat doet of het dit alles wordt maar er is alleen Dat met de superimpositie dat de wakende droom echt is... Dat is het enige einde van alle ellende, alle onzekerheid...

En toen kwam er een olifant en die blies het verhaaltje uit!

One without a second and how to meditate on it... One of the great sayings of the upanishads, you are That [one]... All very nice in words but how to have the direct experience of this?

We all want everlasting happiness without break or end, for this we first need to find who am I? and what is truly lasting and therefore truly real. That everything one notices through the senses is objective to oneself. What is the I prior to everything? To really want to know this more than anything else is number one which cannot be done, but when your truly fed up with the drama of life and realise there is no lasting happiness in it is the time to start this.

All sense experience is only electrical signals interpreted by the brain, all thoughts are only about this and are observed like the body is known. It is all in the mind like the dream is, all fleeting and unreal like a mirage, real as real can be for the dream character but after waking up where did it go? So meditate on where the mind or brain comes from, who notices it coming and going? In deep sleep where does it go? All senses, body and thoughts or in other words everything one thinks of as I go away but do you stop existing in deep sleep? No, so who am I? Everything, the whole world is in the mind but who knows mind?



''Meditating'' on this one without a second is a bit like falling asleep, all sense imput and thoughts are ignored until everything disappears. Turning the mind inwards instead of outwards to its source by not giving senses or thoughts or anything else outside of the mind any attention. If there are too many thoughts inquire to who do they come? Thoughts need to stop for some time to see this but not done by you which is also in thought so ingrained that it even feels like a real I but look is this not known?

Just stay in no-thought and not-knowing with no effort, when thoughts come let them tell their story smile and be silent and realise everything is mind and focus it on its source... If you don't succeed keep it up everytime you remember it cause mind will come up with anything to not turn inwards.

Ekam Eva Adhvitheyam

You can also contact me or leave a message and maybe do this together with me.

Be, be in the placeless place before anything rises...



The instant before realising your awake, before thought [which is ego itself] has risen there is a place without an I to achieve any goal at all, be it spiritual or mental or physical. How much effort does it after all take to silently be yourself and be utterly completely unconditionally happy in sleep? In actuality it also does not take any effort at all to be what you really are while awake were it not we see ourself for a limited body-mind which has risen from you yourself.

Everything rises from you, your own limitless being, but that which has the concept ''I am this limited body-mind organism'' can never become this or experience it lastingly. Your best bet would be to be silent until you realise first hand that the one trying to be silent first needed to rise before it could try anything, that it itself is not silent to begin with and not lasting, everything is always in motion except the only real silent one which is you for real and always has been. Which cannot be reached by any method or experience whatsoever not even by a non-method or non-experience  or anything which has only the slightest to do with a separate individual, let the arisen dream unfold like last nights dream, it just happens like it does leaving no trace at all.

When it is seen that all this here is a dream of your mind, that that sitting, standing, walking or laying there is truly not you but that it is the dream character, that it can have nice dreams or bad dreams or funny dreams or adventurous dreams or wet dreams ;-) or the waking dream your currently having.

47 As the line made by a moving fire—brand appears to be straight, crooked, etc., so Consciousness, when set in motion, appears as the perceiver, the perceived and the like.

48 As the fire—brand, when not in motion, is free from all appearances and remains changeless, so Consciousness, when not in motion, is free from all appearances and remains Changeless.

49 When the fire—brand is set in motion, the appearances that are seen in it do not come from elsewhere. When it is still, the appearances do not leave the motionless fire—brand and go elsewhere, nor do they enter into the fire—brand itself.

50 The appearances do not emerge from the fire—brand, because their nature is not that of a substance. This applies likewise to Consciousness, because of the similarity of the appearances.

51—52 When Consciousness is associated with the idea of activity, as in the waking and dream states, the appearances that seem to arise do not come from anywhere else. When Consciousness is non—active, as in deep sleep, the appearances do not leave the non—active Consciousness and go elsewhere, nor do they merge in it. The appearances do not emerge from Consciousness, for their nature is not that of a substance. They are incomprehensible, because they are not subject to the relation of cause and effect.

53 A substance may be the cause of another substance and a non— substance, the cause of another non—substance. But the individuals cannot possibly be anything like a substance or a non— substance.

54 Thus external appearances (objects) are not caused by the mind, nor is the mind caused by them. Hence thoughtful people hold to the principle of absolute non—creation.

55 As long as a person clings to the belief in causality, he will find cause producing effect. But when this attachment to causality wears away, cause and effect become non—existent.

~Mandukya Upanishad http://www.swamij.com/upanishad-mandukya-karika.htm

Imagine your back in the womb... Got it?

What did you know then? Pleasure? Pain? Discomfort? Sickness, health? Young, old age, death, life? Not even that you or anything exists at all, right?

Still there was purely the happiness of being without any condition whatsoever... It is only at birth and after that the whole show of conditions and conditioning for hapiness starts, while actually you already have it! :)

My first memory was shortly after birth sitting on my moms lap not knowing I was the babies body, no thoughts, only being, just all happenings all movement happening without an intermediary concept ''I'' and this is how things should be.

Can you remember a time that no matter what happened yesterday waking up from sleep there was no memory of before or of being ''you'' or how things should be? That is the only true happiness and it is right here right now without any movement or effort, unconditionally...

You have no quality, objective nor subjective. yet you are all quality springing from it and returning to it. Because you are without quality and all quality at the same time this cannot be experienced or gained like the wave cannot experience or gain the whole ocean it is already a part of and one with. So nothing you as the separate me idea the part of all impermanent quality does or doesn't do changes one bit, you cannot become the qualityless which is the only permanence through life. It cannot ever be reached cause the one trying to reach is itself impermanent. 

What you have truly always been cannot be objective nor even subjective, because the objects appear one can become aware of a subject but where does this go when the objects don't appear?

This what you are cannot ever be described not even by buddha or krishna or christ, it is about where the descriptions come from namely your own Self. So there can be no set teaching, no bible, no doctrine, no dogma, no prescription how to live, no judgement, no battles and no techniques to reach or realise Self, you are it at birth before birth at death and after death.

Non-duality is like the whole universe being compressed to the size of a pea before the big bang with you as a little piece of it trying to become or stay one with the ever expanding pea or universe. Whatever you do or don't do nothing changes a thing about this underlaying wholeness or oneness of everything in the universe including this and that body..



Or like being the little red cube in the rubics cube trying to become one with the rubics cube thinking its a separate entity, no matter where it moves or turns it is and stays one and the same with the rubics cube.



Or like a folded swan forgetting it is only paper, when folded it seems to come into being when not folded it is not there at all only in potential but whether its folded or not it stays truly paper.



Or like a golden ornament of a king is ever only gold, no matter what he does he won't find goldness, he doesn't really exist only the gold does whether created or melted.

Like the fish going on a journey to find water and asking every fish if they can show him water.



Like nothing or emptiness folding out of itself as everything conceivable or just form and then folding in on itself leaving no trace. Which is like a castle in the sky, for a while it seems to be there and then *POOF* its gone as if it never existed, which of course is true. Like everything is totally real when it is there but when it once stops being nothing ever happened.


So as long as the play lasts and the stage is set play your alloted role the way you like to, do your duties without or even with complaining if you like ;-) Follow your dreams passionately or silently enjoy the spectacle unfolding knowing its non-selfness, temporariness, emptiness and unsatisfactoriness in the end...