You know yourself[body], the world[universe] and others through the mind which enterprets the senses, right? These sense are in fact nothing other than extensions of the mind and are impermanent (as the mind is). And even more importantly everything you are aware of takes place in the mind.

So where is the mind in deep sleep? Arn't you by definition that which is there always? Look for that which is always there.

So the mind and everything it is aware of is impermanent, look for the eternal I can say.



But not anything I say can make you see what this blog points to, you need to see it for yourself!

Thoughts are there almost all the time, what is their source?

Are you in control?

Thoughts will always say there is more, more to realise, more to enlightenment. Which can only happen now, now and now, meaning it is a continuous process and not a moment in the future for a separate person!

This is it!

Nothing is ever really yours, not even the body(and its pains) and the mind(and its thought loops), just life, nothing more. This blog is not really mine, course it seems to be, typed by this body/mind in this room on this computer.

I mean look, are you doing that reading or are it just the eyes going over the letters and the brain interpreting it? No separate controlling entity Stephen Wingate says, there is the thought here ''and he is right'' is he? Did I control that thought coming right at this particular moment? Just after I decided to turn this latest thing the mind came up with around this topic into a blogpost, just a coincidence.

Still need to think about where I want to go with this as now words are popping up in the mind and being typed by the hand without any control, as with all the words typed on this blog and anyone elses and anything ever typed, conscious of this or not.

From very little on you are constantly taught that you are a separate individual, responsible for your actions and reactions, are we? Well how many times in life have you said or done something where immediately after or later you think ''Did I say that (out loud)?'' or ''Did I do that?''. That talking and that action happen totally involuntarily and without intention right? Then could it not be so always?

That after everything thought, said, done, sensed, felt or experienced, thought comes in and labels it as my thought, my words, my action, my sensation, my fear/sadness/happiness or my experience?

Is all the stuff around you yours or just stuff? You might have bought it or created it still it is just matterial, protons, neutrons, strings, quarks all that jazz. Just like the body is built up out of stuff, mostly elements. Are you the elements? Are you the separate body parts? The limbs? Torso? Head? Intestins? Lungs? Heart? How are you then all of this together?



Maybe this little exercise will help see what I mean:

''Step 1
Take a look in front of you right now. Choose an object in the field of view and describe it in your mind. Note color, size, shape, texture. Try to describe everything about what you see.
Write out the description for me here, please.

Part 2
While still looking at that object, think about the last movie you really enjoyed watching. See a scene in your mind, and describe it. Don't tell me the title yet ;) But keep looking at the object.
Write out a very brief description here.

Part 3
Try describing the object and the movie at the same time, and watch the thoughts. Do they happen simultaneously, or one at a time? Are you able to think about both at once or is there a sequence?
Try to think two thoughts at the same time.

Write out a very brief description of what happened when you did this exercise.

Take the time, really do this as thoroughly as possible, or don't do it at all. Go for it ;)

Do the exercise with the body. Look at the hands without the thought, "my hands". For a second or two, let the "my" thoughts fall away. Then, look at the legs without the thought, "my legs". Just gaze at them. See how they exist even without the "me" or "my" thoughts, and how nothing about reality changes one bit without those thoughts.

Bring yourself back to thoughts of "my hands", then repeat the exercise a few times. Look at them without thought, then bring the thought back in.

What happens to the body without the thoughts? Can you say what the object even is? Does it "belong" to anything? Does it continue to exist in physical reality?''


If you want to, send me your answer and we can look into this.


One more thing to say: It has been said by Ramana Maharshi and others that the observer, observing and the observed are one. And although I neither agree nor disagree I would like to ask you if there really is an observer? And if so how you are it? And if so how you are doing it? Do you snap your fingers and stop observing/noticing?

There is only the Self/That/Life/Awareness/Consciousness are ways of putting it, but why add ''and you are that''? Isn't that redundant and just another way of holding on to having an identity? Nothing ever really yours...

Just life.......................................................................................................................

Could end this blogpost right here and it would say what is intended. Look at that statement ''just life...'' is anything excluded from it? Think real hard...

Can you think of anything? Let me know if you do!

Life, nothing separated from it, do you agree?

Just like nature, the universe or existence, what is there separate from that, you?




So no self or anatta as the Buddhas say(look it up for a better understanding of what this blog is about) coupled to impermance[everything that is impermant is non-self] and suffering[because of impermanence there is suffering]. ''No self'' and ''only life'' are two sides of the same coin, a double edged sword so to speak.

Both need to be seen as the actual truth in real life before any difference is noticed. Most people interested in non-duality stop at the first insight, identify with a non-dual consciousness or higher self and discuss about it all day rather than checking what the implications are.

An important distinction to be made in what is meant by no self is that it does not mean I am no self and not even I have no self and you do no it means no I there to have a self or not. No self anywhere at all in all eternity! Nothing to remove, hold on to or (dis)identify with...


Then an invitation if you want to see if what this blog points out really is true and want an appearing other to help you see this go to the brand new Liberation Unleashed site this blog is now part of and specially the Lliberation Nation Forum register open up a topic and start asking questions and someone already seeing this will respond and start pointing, although there is no separation.

Reading about a very clear, gentle and smooth 'liberation' by Ilona marked, eternal it finally hit me. Which is that the reason a lot of people like to believe in something higher like the Self, Consciousness, Awareness or the Divine, the Infinite, the Unmanifested, the Divine matrix is because of our need to identify with or as something. What if there was nothing to identify with?

So once there comes up the idea that there might be more than the physical existence of the body-mind and universe [there must be more to life than this, right?] something else is made up to believe in and identify with. You know the people who say: ''I am the Universe'' or ''I am all and/or everything'' or any of the above.

This often are the people that have felt that there is truth in non-duality but also still believe in a separate existing self. While if one thinks about it this cannot both be true! So if you are of this conviction really STOP NOW and consider why this is not possible! And not because I think I am so special and like to tell people what to do or believe but for yourself. Or would you rather believe in some half-truth than know the truth of life?




















So did you figure it out? No? Think again!



















Look man/woman, I can just tell you and you could believe me or try and make yourself believe what I tell you but what good would that do? Cause this is not about what you believe to be true, this is about the actual truth of the reality of life! It needs to be seen in the actual experience of daily life.

Just being... that was the first realisation there was felt to ring true for me after years of searching, pondering and judging if my behavior was enlightened enough. Mainly through teachings of Ramana Maharshi, Papaji, Nome and Nisagardatta Maharaj.

So just being... Everything is already one so nothing to do or change, there is only the Self and I/you am/are That! Actually no more than a complicated way of saying: 'There is only existence'!


Nothing to see here, that was my final realisation after a few moments of totally honest and intense looking after which there was seen that truly there is no separate self/I/me there in actual daily experience!

So nothing to see here... No thing to look at or abide in or as and nothing to find that is now lost and last but not least nothing to get rid of! Just life flowing, NOTHING excluded!

Which does not however mean that its all good, that we can selfishly let all needless suffering be without trying to do something about it! All the people behind the blogs on the right who had the same realisation are trying to do their part by spreading this instead of sitting on a mountain blissed out being oh so special, or making up all kinds of difficult programs and concepts making big bucks!

All normal (and less normal) people like you see passing by in the streets every day have realised this, even the lazy not exceptionally smart non-philosophers like me. Meaning no matter how undeserving or stupid you think you are this can be seen by everyone having an honest desire for it to keep on looking for the truth untill it is clear and doubts about it are seen as only thought!

So how to get to seeing this? Well looking and looking to see if there is an actual self in experience or if it are only thoughts of an assumed self?

To end I would like to quote Ilona from the blog Marked eternal which is a very very great place to start and end this search for good! So do not hesitate a second and click that link, actually do what is described there exactly and seriously, if you want to take this beyond some other nice concept in the mind that is!

So here comes that quote, really look into it and let its meaning sink in!

'I think therefore I am, I is a thought, I does not think, I isn't, Thinking is. Liberation happens.'

If there is the feeling of wanting to see the truth of no you, look at nature! Everything is just happening and flowing, nothing controling it, how are you any different? In what way are you separated from nature?

So really, tell me what you think! In the comments, e-mail m_vandijk3@hotmail.com or chat!

Recently my mother reminded me that here in the Netherlands we have a project giving nature back to nature, I had to laugh quite hard seeing the nonsense of it, any place on earth is eventually just nature! Hope you can laugh with me soon seeing there is only nature flowing, no you involved.

Ps. nontheless a good project of course.

So 'Okay, NOW cut the crap! There is only existence = There is no self! SEE' my signature on the Ruthless Arena might need some explaining, if not it makes a nice opening and title for a blog post.

So how did it get there? Don't remember exactly I'm affraid, but remember being inspired by several reactions from some liberated [for lack of a better word] members. Anyway where did the actual words come from? Where does inspiration come from? Well it just pops up like any other thought. It does not pop up from anywhere or to anyone it is only thought!

Just recognised it as being what is seen when the truth of no self 'clicks'. So let's cut it into bits and take a closer look: 'Okay, NOW cut the crap!' Well reading and participating for a while on this Arena of liberation you will have been exposed to a lot of crap from people trying to see the truth of no I, no me, no you. This happens through being fed the lie for so long through conditioning.

'There is only existence' Well there you have it the core of non-duality so much stuff has been woven around by so many well meaning or less well meaning teachers! This was what was the first realisation already before taking Ruthless truth seriously.

'= There is no self! Meaning that the realisation that there is only existence, nothing separate, equals or better also has to mean that there can be no self either! Why? If there is only undifferentiated existence, no separation, it is impossible to also have anything separate let alone a self! Although lots and lots of people want and also believe this to be different.

Which leads to the seeing bit. Really seeing this to be the reality really hit the ball home so to speak. Which in my case happened when reading The Thunder and the Sunshine and also

Some call it God, others Self, some Consciousness, one calls it Awareness, someone else prefers Oneness, there are those who like to name it Budha nature, also Christ Consciousness, people call it Shiva, others like the term Sat-Guru, let's not forget Allah before he gets mad and well of course Jahweh sounds good.

All of the above and those not mentioned are only labels, nothing more! Now that statement will be labelled blasphemy by millions of people. Let's look a little deeper into this.

All of this naming is not happening just like that, there is our existence and there is consciousness of this, there must be something behind this in control of all of it, let's give it a name. Us being human we feel the need to be unique and feel we belong to a group.

There is a mind, and it labels litterally everything even itself and the body as a separate self and something before it which cannot really be known by it.

And so seeming division and separateness came round the corner and wars have been fought ever since, about these labels [and greed of course which isn't all to different].
Isn't that very strange if you really look at it? Cause do we really know that there is something behind in control? And that if it were so we would just be fighting and defending names for the same thing?

But is it really true that there is something there behind which is in control and being aware or doing the looking? Most people just assume this must be so cause they were either raised like that, were told this or just think this is logical. But is reality by definition logical?

Now read this:

a modernization of a quote from 'whoso knoweth himself" by ibn el'arabi:

you are not a you.
this is life, without any you.

you never were,
and you never will be.

there is only life
without separation.

original:

The Prophet (upon whom be peace) points out by that, that thou art not thou: thou art He, without thou;

 it is meant by it that thou never wast nor wilt be, whether by thyself or through Him or in Him or along with Him.

Thou art neither ceasing to be nor still existing. Thou art He, without one of these limitations.

For the whole text click I recommend it!  Whoso knoweth himself?

Now to me that sounds a lot more like reality! What would the implication be if it were true? Let's see: no division or separation, nothing to defend or fight wars about and no self to uphold or maintain and to make perfect. So is there a self in the reality of experience right now? check this right NOW!

I want to be enlightened! Is the first thing we say when we start looking at it seriously, I mean most laugh it of. When I thought 'well everything else which is supposed to make me happy failed miserably, now what?' and typed in the word on google out of curiosity, I had some idea of yoga and meditation but what do I know!

Enlightenment (spiritual), a final blessed state free from ignorance, desire and suffering.

Well who wouldn't want that right? Well after finding the so called guru's and teacher's all claiming they had it, a few did as was clearly felt which kept me looking for that state and a Self I never found, the search was on!

But what the hell there are not two selves, one self to find the other Self, wow how great so I am the Self that perceives all yet is all. Felt so right for so long, untill that Ruthless basterd Ciaran Healy had to come by with his flamethrower of truth and burn every concept down to the ground! Leaving nothing...

Of course not knocklehead ! Everything was still there except the assumption of an existent self, EVERYTHING IS STILL THERE EXCEPT THE ASSUMPTION THAT THERE IS AN EXISTENT SELF, EVERYTHING IS STILL THERE EXCEPT THE ASSUMPTION THAT THERE IS SUCH A THING AS AN EXISTING SELF!!!

Unbelievable how many excuses there can be made up, not to really look into this! And why this cannot possibly be true. "There must be something there which is aware, so that must be me". Or "If there is no I who can do the looking?". Well as long as your worldview does not need to be questioned and one can keep searching for that final blessed state free from ignorance, desire and suffering no problem!

Ever wondered if there really is such a thing as enlightenment you are so desperately searching and craving for?

How do you know? Someone told you, you read it and it was believed! Including this oh so difficult path towards it, only the very few succeed in bringing to an end (at least that is what they say, very convenient isn't it?).

But what made them so special and different from you? While they say that they see no difference between them and you they contradict themselves by saying something needs to be done, changed or even shift. Find the Self and look into it untill it happens by the grace of Mr or Ms guru.

WELL WAKE UP FROM FAIRYTALE LAND IT DOES NOT WORK LIKE THAT!

So honestly answer these questions! There is existence, no denying that, there is only one existence, no denying that, tell me how you are not included in existence?

If there is at least some sanity left in you, you did not have an answer and had to admit you are not seperate from existence! Why are you on the other hand still clinging to a seperate self which needs to be perfected or enlightened? How can this self exist seperately from existence?

Please honestly look into these questions! Don't make up excuses like he is not acting enlightened enough or it cannot be this simple DO IT NOW!


This is not about remembering concepts and analyzing them!

It is also not about doing something to end or MAKE anything disappear either!

Neither is it about perfect understanding and then a shift into eternal bliss! Or about only good feelings!

What is it about?




Leave all expectations behind and actually have the guts to check, test or see what happens in actual experience RIGHT NOW in this very instance, what is there happening? There is looking at the screen and reading of words, thoughts about this blog you are reading, body functioning [senses included] and awareness of all that, which is all existing not seperate from existence. Is there really a you or anything at all DOING all of this or is it just happening? DO NOT ANSWER ME ANSWER YOURSELF AFTER YOU REALLY CHECKED!

People go to a guru hoping to receive something from him, specially bliss is a big deal, you know the being-consciousness-bliss they speak about so often. Never in years of searching and self-enquiry have I found a lasting bliss CAUSE IT CANNOT BE MADE PERMANENT!!!

So now that I have your attention, Mr or Ms non-dual, know why this is not possible? Cause it would deny all the other feelings, specially the negative ones, how the hell can that be called non-dual? Possitive feelings included, negative ones not included in non-duality, isn't that a little strange?

Non-duality means just one undifferentiated existence everything included else this would imply duality. Well, at this moment you the reader thinks about himself as a seperate being right?

See how strange this actually is? Taking everything to be non-dual except oneself? Now what is going on here? This is caused by the fact that we don't know better than to look at ourselves as seperate from all the rest.

Everyone thinking like this wants to be happy as much as possible, well this spiritual path seems very appealing to accomplish this (certainly when life does not work out, career, health and/or relationship wise). So you start seeking for the most enlightened guru at who's feet you hope to receive enlightenment through his grace (which will not happen unless there is seen beyond a shadow of a doubt there is no self). Then the identity of a seeker becomes engrained pretty soon... Eventually nothing lasting is found cause well THERE IS NO DARN SPIRITUAL PATH OR SEEKER, THEY ARE ILLUSORY!!!

So where I'm going to with this is that yes there is indeed a so called non-dual existence... How the bleeb do we get to leaving ourselves out of this?! Well this starts in the cradle when our name and mommy and daddy start to become conditioned and crying is seen to result in attention and thus can influence the evironment. And so we grow up with the notion "I am separated from mommy, daddy and my environment" while all this time there is only existence taking place totally without any separation, meaning there can be no self in non-dual existence at all! True?

So that was just ANOTHER concept, very nice, put it in the backpack and on with the spiritual path to liberation right? Well if you now really still want to keep on trying and struggling with all you can to make the bliss permanent and enquire and meditate untill Ms Grace finds time to accidently fly by and the Self flows into the heart and samadhi suddenly out of the blue becomes permanent, be my guest!

Not Going To H A P P E N!


Good you are still reading, there is still hope for you... OF COURSE THERE IS NO HOPE FOR YOU, THERE IS NO YOU!!!

"Why does he keep shouting that is annoying" TO GET THROUGH THAT PIGGHEADED SKULL OF YOURS THAT THERE CANNOT BE A YOU IN REALITY!!!

So how to clearly see that there is no you, there never was and there never will be? Well for some the earlier was enough, others are still on the edge and in doubt what will happen if they take the leap and let this prrrrrrrrecious self go. The good thing is, the reality that there is no you is always already the case, meaning there is no you to let go of and no you to do the letting go or take the leap! You either see it or you don't.

It is only the LOOKING into your daily experience if it is true or not and then only the SEEING. So please don't go looking for something, it cannot be witnessed, it just isn't anywhere to be found that's the whole point!

NOW JUST LOOK! YOUR TURN NO MORE EXCUSES!!!!!!












Doubts? DOUBTS? DOUBTS?! Are you having doubts or are there just doubts?













Thoughts making seeing difficult? Are you having these thoughts? Or is thought just happening?













Is there fear stopping you from really looking? NO! There is only fear, no you to actually have them! So there is fear, look it straight into its ugly face! Why is it there? Is it protecting something? What is there behind fear?

Once I was watching a movie called Mr. Nodody about a man who, looking back over his life's experiences, finds out he doesn't exist at all, and never did.

After this realisation he mentions to his interviewer that he also does not exist and has no more moves to make, that he's stalemate (a situation in chess where a player has no more moves he can make without putting the king in danger, so the game is over).

This really struck a chord with me at the time, then still trying to become something like enlightened or self-realised, having tried and tried everything I heard from Ramana Maharshi and the like which eventually did not give me any lasting samadhi state or whatshemacallit.

I then saw that there really is no point in doing anything to become something other than you already are, cause as they say you already are That because all is That. A state of bliss remained...

But of course it did not last, as it never does and never will!

Why am I so sure of this? Well what is realised now is that what there was felt there at the end of that movie is that there really is no me other than a bunch of preferences and memories. There was bliss, but not for someone, only the realisation: "There is no I to have or gain anything at all, not even the bliss or the happiness that has been sought for".



So can it be seen? Stalemate! No more moves left to make to gain "enlightenment" cause there is nobody there to own it!

Yes that is very much possible for litterally everyone.

How? No doing here [who would be doing the doing if there is nobody there to do it?], just see if there is anyone there in all experiences of the day doing them or if there is just experience there?

"Of course there is! I am making the decisions you moron!" You might be thinking now, but was this assumption ever thoroughly tested?

Where is it? Is it in the mind? No, it is not constantly there [dreamless sleep, unconsciousness, during orgasm] so cannot really be you. Is it in the body? No, there is no control of any body function, that just happens.

But I am deciding what I like and what I do, right? Well if you do should it not be the case in everything that you take action on? But is this really always the case? Does this you always decide what there is done?

Also in an emergency, when a split second decides between life and death? Are you doing the action to save your or somebody elses life? Or is it just happening? No thought, no mind or I there huh?

Well you decide, see it or don't!

Well after reading the thunder and the sunshine [on the blog of a guy named Ciaran Healy founder of ruthlesstruth.com] and the truth of no I really had hit home this concept: "how can there be something  as an I truly being me if it wasn't immediately there at birth, nor in the weeks or months after?" came up.

This kept spinning around in my head for a while but then it faded leaving an inexpressable serenity, not for someone, just serenity, whether there were more thoughts or non at all, a lot of noise or total stillness, or any emotion it made no difference.

And up untill right now, although everything is happening in exactly the same way, it is not happening to anyone seperate but as a part of the whole of existence.

All these years of searching for "what I really am" suddenly felt so totally unnececarry, and it was. But why oh why is it that a bunch of guys on the internet who have figured it out on their own (don't believe that? Take a serious look for yourself here http://ruthlesstruthdotcom.blogspot.com/2010/10/thunder-and-sunshine.html ) got done what all these so called gurus could not? Well might this have to do something with their total focus on the absence of an I?

I mean there are only one or two gurus that do mention this but most of the time all kinds of eastern terminology is used in front of a western audience. Why the mysteriousness around this?

Well maybe just maybe (and I know some readers do not like what I am about to suggest) maybe guru's need their followers following them? I mean one or two who find what they have found great, that will be a nice example for the rest of them to keep coming but if most of them would then the guru would lose his importance very fast.

What I am trying to say is why are there so little so called guru's that are direct enough to show exacly what they found and how they found that?

And yes I know it is not an object but the subject and cannot be given on a silver platter, but hey this ain't rocket science either, they must be able to guide them through it if those blokes from ruthless truth can right? Anyway be your own judge but my advice is to take a very close look into the fact that this No Self thing just might really be true...

Studying, going to a 'Guru' to become 'enlightened' don't make me laugh! Do you need to study or have someone tell you that you are male or female? You only need to find out is there an I or is there not and then be bold enough to truly find out for yourself and stick to it till you have a clear doubtless answer! Respect for the guru just no need to depend on them or see them as anything other than just another human being seeing that in truth there can be no 'I' at all (which is actually quite easy), just test out if what they are saying is true or not and be done with it...

Thoughts, body, senses and the world it perceives are there, nothing has to be done about this it will drop someday. It is only identification with the body-mind as I that creates struggle or suffering. Once having had an awakening to what you really are, the subject and not the object -physical or subtle- this identification needs to shift from the body-mind you thought you were to what you really are, the Center and Source of all, everything and everyone which is your own Self.

All of this is just a concept, eventually you have to leave concepts alone and abide as your true center which is your own Self [and the Self of every other Being].

You are not the center of the universe - There can be only one center of the universe - You are a tiny part of the universe. So your own center is the same center and source of the universe meaning all, everything and everyone. This is your true identity! Also there is no duality between this source and everything that springs forth from it. All of this is just a concept, eventually you have to leave concepts alone and abide as your true center which is your own Self.

Who identifies the body as I? Whom is talking to whom as one is thinking to oneself? In fact who is identifying thoughts as I? Isn't the answer to all of this just thought? Thought is the most transient one is able to perceive, but who or what perceives them? Continuously consider this, not with the mind but by looking beyond the mind and abiding there.
All of this is just a concept, eventually you have to leave concepts alone and abide as your true center which is your own Self [and the Self of every other Being].

Nothing left to say or think about That which is our True Origin and Self. Nothing me or anyone else can ever do or say to make you realize what you truly are. Eventually it is you who has to see That what you already are. And there is no set way to 'get' this. You have to investigate your experience from waking to dreaming to deep sleep. When waking first there is the knowledge I am without a single thought there yet also then you are, undeniably, what is seeing this? That is the Source of all.
All of this is just a concept, eventually you have to leave concepts alone and abide as your true center which is your own Self [and the Self of every other Being].

Well what was your state when you were just born? You were just being totally without thought totally unidentified with the body, world or anything else. Nothing really changed at the core despite all the conditioning and identification with the mind, emotions, experiences and the world. Only when you can see what you are beyond this you will realize what you already are. When realizing that utterly Everything comes and goes in That which cannot come and go. Look for That which cannot be seen, meaning witness everything coming and going Just Being That!